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Sober Podcasts [SP]

  These are archived podcasts. If you'd like to sign up to get the NEW audios each week as they are released (1-2 new audios per week), you can do that here.

See updates below - newly added #355, #360-#362

SP520 - Sobriety as a Passion (when the newness of sobriety starts to fade, how do you find a new passion?)


SP489 - What my family thinks ... (what to do when your family can't or won't see you for who you really are - how to deal with people who don't 'get you')


SP488 - I should be able to (but I can't) (we know we need to quit drinking but it's WAY harder than we thought it would be ...)

SP487 - Overfunctioning (trying to do too much. over-functioning. not taking time off. feeling responsible for things that aren't our responsibility)

SP486 - Yes, But How? (Part 2; how to take action in a sea of 'truisms' and 'platitudes')

SP485 - Yes, But How? (Part 1; how to take action in a sea of 'truisms' and 'platitudes')

SP484 - Q&A (Is learning to be sober like learning to ski? ... Is there a positive aspect to a relapse? How to deal with an 'out of nowhere' desire to drink? Words of strength as you head into somethign hard)

SP483 - Remove the compulsive behaviour (or end the compulsive relationship)

SP482 - Saving the 12-year-old (i finally share the REAL reason i do this sober work)

SP481 - Not That Bad (when you say 'i'm not as bad as them', that's actually a good place to be. you're not as bad as them yet. phew.)

SP480 - Relapse Mini-Course [audio]

SP479 - My chat with Deb from the podcast "Alcohol Tipping Point"

SP476, SP477, SP478

This bundle includes:

  • a 7-page PDF of compiled emails (with some bonus comments submitted by listeners)

  • 3 full-length, unedited audios recorded from live radio


SP475 - Why isn’t it easier to quit drinking when we KNOW it’s not good for us? (your wolfie voice will resist the things that could help you)

SP474 - My chat with Arlina from the "ODAAT Podcast"

SP473 - Data Points? (Is sobriety like a marathon, or like space travel?) (“Every Crack is a Doorway, to our wolfie voice.”)

SP418 - What Normies Don't Know About US (things that sober folks know and celebrate, like being able to drive after dinner!)

SP413 - Restlessness ["Let the discs install"] (periods of irritation or restlessness, as they coincide with some specific sober landmarks, like the 8.5 month mark and others)

SP412 - Do our relationships change when we're sober? (and is that a bad thing? maybe you have better boundaries, or you're less irritated - but how does this affect our partner/spouse...)

SP411 - Make it Easier (how to face the 'large' task of long-term sobriety, and break it into smaller steps)

SP410 - "But I Want to Achieve More" (that you’ve been struggling for a REALLY LONG TIME to solve this over-drinking problem does NOT mean that the problem cannot be solved. It means that the problem cannot be solved by YOU using the tools you've been using)

SP409 - Q&A (shame, sleep, and how I disagree with Gabor Mate — and I address these topics: I just want to be sober and never think about it again ... Can’t get a grip on my head or my sobriety ... Dealing with guilt & shame of over-drinking behaviour ... How to make sober friends in real life)

SP408 - My interview with Casey Davidson (spoiler: she used to be a penpal, and now she's a sober coach!)

Flyaway asks: "I want to do it, but it's pissing me off. It makes me feel very agitated. I sat with it a bit and the craving stopped. What is that all about? Do you have any audios about this?"

SP407 - Accidents (we think we’re invincible, and sometimes something really terrible happens, like fire across the street from me)

SP404 - The 'Real' Reason (What is the ‘real’ reason why you can’t quit drinking?)

SP403 - Judging [of others and ourselves] (when we're critical of others, and what does that relate to how we feel about ourselves)

SP402 - Personality Types [and Boundaries] (how to protect yourself and your sobriety when you are empathic, want to be of service, and often help others even when you have no gas left in your own tank)

SP401 - Duality (we compartmentalize our drinking and say "but i'm still successful at work" or "my drinking is in this box but the rest of me is great" - which isn't strictly true, and this kind of thinking is frightening because ...)

SP400 - Moderation (we think this should work, but even a little crack in the door reactivates the addictive voice. and then it starts to yell. do NOT get stuck at corner of "I should be able to ..." and "I can't" ....)

SP399 - Regret: How to stop thinking about the "Things Back There" (regret, shame, rumination, stuck on re-thinking)

NMD: "Do you have any recommendations for audios on opposite ends of the spectrum, some *kick me up the ass* ones and some *pour honey on my brain, I need soothing* ones please?"

SP398 - How Raking Leaves is like Being Sober (how do you thrive in the situation that you have, with the hand you've been dealt?)

SP397 - ODAAT (One day at a time) Podcast - my interview with Arlina

SP396 - Anger & Grief (what happens when we drink on top of grief; how to deal with large emotions)

SP395 - How Long? (how much time should you spend on your sobriety, how many hours a day, when can you cut back?)

SP394 - Q&A (The difference between physical and psychological addiction; "Belle, my friends and parents don’t think I have a problem and they’re my primary support network"; and where to get your ‘mothering’ if your own mother isn't enough

SP393 - In Your Own Best Interest (if you are repeatedly relapsing, it's like you're standing at the corner of ‘I should be able to’ and ‘I can’t’ and while you're standing there, in the dark, in the snowstorm, there's a snowplow coming, and it's going to unexpectedly jump the curb and take you out. don't stand at the corner of 'i want to' and 'i can't'. This audio talks about things we can do instead)

SP392 - How to keep fuel in your sober car (what to do when dealing with something large, and you can’t escape to any of your regular self-care things like have a massage, or go to bed)

SP391 - Resiliency (you’ve learned some things in being sober that help you deal with other life events)

email from No More Donuts: "I think maybe the booze was such a roller coaster and sobriety is more even, and I'm not used to the flatline style. All or nothing, that's me. I don't do middle ground too well."

SP390 - Low Mood Relapse (Fly shared that she was having a hard time being sober at home (and seems to do fine when she’s away visiting family). So how many tools does Fly need to be sober? Is she using enough tools?)

SP389 - All the things that improve if you just keep going (if you keep going in your sober car, moving away from day 1, then what kinds of things will improve)

SP388 - Reframing Black & White Thinking (help to see basic things in a different way; like learning to see how the dishwasher 'should' be loaded from a different perspective)

SP387 - Hold Loosely (limiting beliefs and how our head tells us that we can’t change)

SP386 - Juggling Knives (we're looking for a dopamine rush AND a way to turn off our heads)

SP380 - Repetition is Required (the hardest part of long-term sober maintenance is doing things daily)

NEW SP363 - I Can’t Structure My Time (And I’m Really Tired) (fatigue might be a sign of overwhelm, of processing things 'under the surface')

NEW SP362 - 500 Million Directions (the dangers of having too many goals, i.e. 'goal-stacking' and forgetting to keep sobriety first)

NEW SP361 - Resilience (difficult situations don't last forever; but you taking care of you? that's the long-game. you're in it for the long haul)

NEW SP360 - Are You Waiting to be Rescued? (the people you're waiting for have their own issues; it's up to you now - that's good news...)

SP359 - Push-Push (our tendency to push-push, even when we don’t want to, even when we don’t need to, even though...)

Didi (day 46) says: "One thing I really battle with is worrying about what is my stuff and what is not – I spend my time worrying about trying to control, hold, sort out other people's shit ... Are we boozers just control freaks?"

SP358 - Who’s in charge of you? You are! (second update from Paris, March 15, 2020 about how to control anxiety)

SP357 - Update on the corona virus from Paris, March 14, 2020 (how to be calm when hard things are happening)

SP356 - Q&A (how to explain over-drinking to your teenager, how long to take quit-drinking medication, is there any value in telling your spouse the WHOLE story of your drinking history)

NEW SP355 - The Problem with Reading (we don't need more information; we need help to apply what we know)

SP354 - The Madeover Podcast with Mike Young (you'll hear me talk about drinking in response to trauma... and how I got started with this whole sober thing)

SP353 - How to use sober skills to do other stuff (how to quit smoking, over-shopping, gambling, pain medication, over- or under-eating)

SP352 -Q&A (caffeine and anxiety, tips to stop thinking about things in the past, help to avoid relapse)

SP351 - Polite and Vague (How to have good boundaries with nosy people like mothers & neighbours)

SP350 - My chat with Quinton Carlin (Self Developed Life Podcast) (and you'll note that not everyone defines 'sober' the same way as you and I do)

SP349 - Live London Show Q&A (do you need to know sober people in real life / shame and regret / greatest benefits of being sober?)

SP348 - Anxiety (what do we need to learn in order to manage our anxiety?)

SP347 - Non-productive time & self-care (what do you do with your time when you remove the booze, and you stop pushing so hard?)

SP346 - The three things you need to know (the 3 main messages I repeat most often with penpals: about being alone, about being broken, and the wolfie voice)

SP345 - "Belle, how are you nice to people who are dicks to you?" (how can we use empathy to put ourselves in someone else's shoes)

SP344 - How to explain our sensitive head (especially to a spouse, who might think we're exaggerating)

SP343 - Mood & Food (if you're eating cake for breakfast, it can go beyond hangry; it can make wolfie act up wildly!)

SP342 - Managing Your Mood (the difficultiy we have in regulating our emotions, with a sensitive head, with poor self-soothing skills)

SP341 - Iconic Moms Podcast (my interview with Alex; this is a good primer for learning about being sober)

SP340 - Fake Beer (and Communion!) (is it ok to drink NA beer, what about wine at communion?)

SP339 - Alcohol in Food? Where's the line? (with small amounts of alcohol in food – how careful do we have to be?

SP338 - Toxic Friends / Toxic Family (how to deal with family that you must interact with, but don’t like)

SP337 - How long until you get used to it? (How long until you feel normal? Do you go back to zero, or do you keep going and wait for the clouds to part, which they do. They always do.)

SP336 - Away From Home (sober travelling; how to be sober when you're away from home, out of routine ... what happens when you’re alone, and out of the house?)

SP335 - How to Deal With Wolfie (Parts 1 and 2 of the Wolfie mini-course)

SP334 - How to Deal With Wolfie (Parts 3 and 4 of the Wolfie mini-course)

SP333 - How to Deal With Wolfie (Parts 1 and 2 of the Wolfie mini-course)

SP332 - Amends (when you don't have a low bottom, whom do you make amends to — and do you need to do it?)

SP331 - Why don't I use my sober supports? (why do we ignore warnings, skip our 4 pm protein snack, and stop listening to audios; I talk about drifting and ego and wolfie)

SP330 - Why is it important to count your sober days? (why does day counting help, particularly if you are repeated relapsing, having a hard time getting going, or early on - like in the first 60 days sober)

SP329 - How Do I remember My Day 1? (how to not forget your day 1, especially as you get further along in your sobriety)

SP328 - Change Routine (how to bypass will power and move into changing your routine, instead)

SP327 - Lonely. Alone (when you live alone, work alone, and feel like this makes it easier to drink too much; how to break out of the isolation that comes with over-drinking)

SP326 - Am I Doing it Wrong? (when you're sober, but not sure you're using enough tools, or the right ones ...)

SP325 - My interview with the Back to Manhood Podcast guys (the idea of being sober, and being your best self, fits well with their listeners; I might have been their first ever female guest, too)

SP324 - Calm Within (anxiety, how to manage it, and some ideas on what has worked for me — particularly to do with flying, but you can insert you own ‘anxious’ thing)

SP323 - Alone Time (this audio particularly useful if you're on day 200+. I record a lot of audios for early sobriety; this one is for later on. But you know what? the advice sounds pretty similar. Don't drift. Do the stuff. Even if it's boring. You need more alone time than you think.)

SP322 - Alcohol is Addictive (do over-drinkers have a ‘character defect’ — and do we need therapy before we can successfully quit drinking?)

SP321 - My Interview with Peter King (easily the most popular interview i've ever done, thanks to Peter being SUCH a great host; it’s about YOU being proud of you ... you are driving the car of your own life ... fucking Sheila in accounting ...)

SP320 - How to deal with an intense craving (how to deal with an intense '9 out of 10' craving, when wolfie rears his ugly head, and you're on automatic pilot)

SP319 - Sober No Matter What (compilation of voices from all over the world; you’ll hear someone who sounds like you)

SP318 - What If I Fail? (if you're afraid to begin, if your wolfie voice is really loud, if you think it's all gonna suck ... then listen to this)

SP317 - Quit Forever, or For Now? (as a test, we compare quitting drinking to giving up cheese; do it forever, or for now? what happens when you frame it as ‘forever’? it gets harder to do!)

SP316 - Mrs. D. (Wine o'Clock is a Crock) (Mrs.D. is one of the first main sober bloggers in 2011 ( and she runs a sober forum called Living Sober (

SP315 - Best Parts of Being Sober (aside from feeling proud of yourself - aside from showing up for yourself - how about the fact that the 'thinking about drinking' virtually stops ...)

SP314 - A Head that Asks for Alcohol (we think we drink because of 'external' reasons; turns out we drink because we have a head that asks for it - no matter what is happening around us. this is a hard message to hear. but it changes things once you understand this.)

SP313 - Business Travel (what to say, how to navigate travel, and how drinking + professionalism don't mix)

SP312 - It's Time for an Amputation (when you think you're doing enough, but you're not continuously sober; how to move into a new pattern)

SP311 - The Two Things We Want: Lack of Friction & Speed (how to lower the barrier to entry in terms of being sober; things that make it easier to get going)

SP310 - Open Minded? That's You (it's too loud when you're alone in your head; things change when you ask for support. here's how to do it)

SP309 - Fine Tuning (we make small adjustments, ongoing, repeatedly; we don't accept 'that's just the way I am')

SP308 - Life Falls Apart (how to cope with hard things, even when we're further-along-sober)

SP307 Live at the Duck Pond (March 2019) - Part 3 (dealing with grief; how to handle family who are irritating about you quitting drinking)

SP306 Live at the Duck Pond (March 2019) - Part 3 (a penpal's husband asks: what could I have done to help her?)

SP305 - Live at the Duck Pond (March 2019) - Part 2 (dealing with FRAGILE MOTHERS - do you have a parent who cries, manipulates, and makes it all about them? if so, this audio is for you)

SP304 - Live at the Duck Pond (March 2019) - Part 1 (how to deal with feelings of insecurity, when you feel like you're a disappointment to yourself and your family; and do you have to 'love' yourself more, in order to quit drinking ...)

SP303 - The Problem with Online Sober Groups (I don't have a 'group' or an open forum on my site, for a reason. They do not work as well as we hope. Here's why ...)

SP302 - Alcohol Free Life - My interview with Janey Lee Grace (we talk about ​ sober coaching, having a voice in your head that thinks that drinking is a good idea, and tips on things to help)

SP301 Understanding Addiction (why do I do the things that I do? even when I don't want to ...)

SP300 - Husband Drinking (what is your 5% that you can work on when your partner is over-drinking)

SP299 - Welcome to Lurkers (Part 4) (the sober slump right around 8.5 months, and how to deal with working 48 hrs a week)

SP298 - My Chat with Lucas Rockwood (Yogabody) (talking about quitting drinking and the booze elevator, NOT talking about yoga!)

SP297 - Welcome to Lurkers (Part 3) (why is it easier to quit for longer than for shorter)

SP296 - Creativity (similarities between learning to paint and being sober)

SP295 - Rowing (how anxiety keeps us from trying new things, and how good coaching can help)

SP294 - Wolfie Marketing Campaign (when your head thinks that THIS will be more FUN with the addition of alcohol)

SP293 - The Thing Isn't IN the Thing (what you're looking for isn't IN alcohol)

SP292 - "I'm Difficult" (how much is your 'real' personality, how much is from the booze)

SP291 - Q&A (how do you add new goals when you're in early sobriety, how to keep going, how to do things for other people but not at your expense)

SP290 - “What if my wolfie voice is really me? How can wolfie override all of the facts and intentions that i know to be true ...” My reply: OH MY GOD IT’S NOT YOU.

SP289 - Identity (you used to be a boozer, now you're a sober person, or do you feel like you're BOTH people at the same time)

SP288 - Anxiety and the Doctor (when you hear the right message, your anxiety can vanish)

SP287 - The Sock (about owning your 5%, and how being sober can ease a lot of difficult situations and avoid nightmare arguments)

SP286 - Welcome Lurkers (Part 2) (are you struggling to drink 'normally' and you don't know what happens next)

SP285 - Welcome Lurkers (Part 1) (how the feeling of being determined on day 1 isn’t enough to be long-term sober)

SP284 - Sober Never the Less (I had a request for a podcast about someone who had a shitty, hard time getting going, who is as now successfully sober. and i thought – yes, i know who i can talk to. This is my chat with penpal #2507)

SP283 - Catherine Gray (she's an author of 3 books AND she's penpal #270)

SP282 - Why Start Now? (fascinated with 'magical timing', your head will tell you that this isn’t the right time to begin)

SP281 - Short Answers (how soon can I resume regular life, why are some people normal drinkers and others aren’t, what to do with emptiness, how to watch TV with drinking characters, what things might make a relapse MORE likely after a year or two years sober, are they same things that might make someone relapse in early sobriety?)

SP280 - Not That Bad (the voice we seem to have in our heads, that says that we’re not THAT bad, or didn’t have a problem like THOSE people)

SP279 - AA Evangelists (there is sometimes tension between people who attend AA, and other approaches to being sober)

SP278 - Online Alcohol Questionnaires (did you ever take one of those questionnaires with subjects like “Top 10 signs that you’re an alcoholic?” Here's what those questions SHOULD be)

SP277 - Everything is like Everything (being sober is like running a marathon, or breaking your ankle, or like driving a car, or like going to law school - lots of metaphors to help understand)

SP276 - Q&A (how to talk to friends ... and how to protect the sober chick inside of you)

SP275 - Facebook (when you see your friends posting lots of pictures of 'drinking' or 'booze' on social media, what does it REALLY mean?)

SP274 - Advice (you have a wolfie voice that will have you asking for advice in not-the-right-place AND will be leaving out important parts of the story, so that you get the response you want...)

SP273 - London 2018 (update from the sober meetup, 15 people came, we all looked normal!)

SP272 - A relapse or a slip? (don't let wolfie wind you up about this title; if you drink it always means the same thing)

SP271 - Potential (is this the same as power? what kind of potential do we have when we're sober?)

SP270 - Q&A (husbands, weight loss, paintings)

SP269 - Why Me? ("Why aren’t all my siblings over-drinkers? Why am I like this?")

SP268 - Work Stress (how to deal with stress at work especially when we can't control the workload or our annoying co-workers)

SP267 - Sober Tools (what helps and what doesn't - should you take a french class to help quit drinking? what about vitamins?)

SP266 - Does It Matter If I'm Sober? (will being sober really change that much in my life? is it even worth doing?)

SP265 - Willpower (what is the difference between willpower and sober supports)

SP264 - Prevention (how to use sober tools, in advance, even when your head says you don't need to)

SP263 - Irritation (when you're irritated with other people, what does that mean?)

SP262 - Yoga (also about online communities, counsellors, and how no one talks about the booze)

SP261 - Loneliness (is it harder to quit drinking when we’re alone?)

SP260 - Interview with Kristi Coulter (2018) (follow-up to our 2016 interview, podcast #150 to talk about her new book)

SP259 - Messages for a 12-year-old (Part 2: “Don’t be in a hurry to grow up, Keep your room clean” - I disagree with both of these comments! )

SP258 - Messages for a 12-year-old (Part 1: “You are enough as you are”)

SP257 - Q&A (lonely, retired, friends who drink, what does sober support mean to you)

SP256 - I Thought I'd Be Further Along (when you're worried that drinking has sucked up too much time, and you'll never recover)

SP255 - Self-Sabotage (This is controversial. i don't believe in self-sabotage. there i said it. i believe in wolfie. You are worth it. And you know it.)

SP254 - How to Travel (you need more alone time than you think; you shouldn't be out on a ledge)

SP253 - They Don't Cheer for Me (learning to turn and face people who can do what you need)

13 free audios, behind the scenes stories of how the site started, how the penpals work (and how i keep track), why the bracelets... i answer a lot of the 'why' questions you might have. free.

SP252 - Alcohol is Addictive Liquid Poo (drinking is like pouring liquid shit into your life, it flows over everything, it affects every aspect of your life)

SP251 - We're More the Same Than Different (a special "introduction to sobriety" audio, recorded especially for you if you are in the first 60 days sober)

SP250 - Anxious. Tired of Drinking (sleep and anxiety and the noise in our head that lies to us)

SP249 - Sober Summer (the first time you do anything is weird—first sober sex, first sober summer)

SP248 - Easily Frustrated (dealing with feelings of discomfort, and the thing that we all share as drinkers: a low frustration threshold. Easily irritated? Check. Think that bad traffic is a god reason to drink? Check.)

SP247 - Research and Statistics (be careful what you believe, biased media, and then I share some of my own numbers in an effort to be more transparent)

SP246 - Quit Forever? (what do you do when you want to quit drinking, but forever seems too long?)

SP245 - Rapid Fire Messages (2-minute answers: scared to start, telling others you’re not drinking without annoying them, when is a good time to think about losing weight, how to stay hopeful if you're having multiple day 1s...)

SP244 - Do It All At Once (we tend to want to be sober, fix the diet, fix the relationships, earn more money, lose weight all at once—and the predictable outcome when we try to do too much)

SP243 - Q&A (treats, proud of yourself, NOT focussing on shitty stuff, how long does the poor sleep last)

SP242 - Feel Proud (learn how pride builds on itself once it gets going)

SP241 - Alcohol Is Not Required (when you feel jealous of other people's success)

SP240 - Rebellion (about having a rebellious nature, and how this can help us in being sober)

SP239 - Forgive Myself (how to deal with things that happened when we were over-drinking; how to ensure that they never happen again)

SP237 & SP238 - Lee Davy's Podcast (parts 1 & 2) (1.5 hr interview about language, metaphors, starting a sober journey with a trial/challenge. We also examined the difference between group support and the kind of one-on-one support that I do)

SP236 - Pros and Cons (how to get going again after you’ve already had some sober time, especially when you feel very alone with it all)

SP235 - Nobody Wants to Quit (drinking, that is ... we just want the surrounding shit to stop)

SP234 - How not to be an ass (advice for well-wishers on how to support us while we do this sober thing)

SP233 - Missed Opportunities (the things we cannot take advantage of when we are drowning in alcohol)

SP232 - Incremental Change (how to approach making large changes for those of us who are easily overwhelmed)

SP231 - Community (why does online sober support work? and how does it work; what is it about having a community of sober people that helps us to feel not so alone)

SP230 - Temptation (how do we resist the temptation to drink, to do too much, to stay up too late)

SP229 - I Wish I Could Fly (distorted thinking, delusions, and how hard it is to talk someone off a ledge when they believe they can fly)

SP228 - My Situation is Different (when we think that it's harder for us to be sober than for other people)

SP227 - Got Money Got Sober (we tend to think that other people don't have problems)

SP226 - Lindsay Lohan (Oprah made a documentary show about LL when she got out of rehab)

SP225 - Behind the Scenes - Explaining Sober Fiction (a private conversation between me and my book editor about the role of sober fiction)

SP224 - Hope (can hope be taught, how do you find a path when you can't see it)

SP223 - Travel for Work (if you have to travel for work, and other situations where you feel like it's harder to be sober)

SP222 - All the Stuff (when you think you're doing 'all the things' to be sober, but you keep relapsing ... then what)

SP221 - Behind the Scenes (Newspaper) (I am interviewed by a journalist in the UK about a future story on sobriety and its image problem)

SP220 - Thirty Years (what if you've been trying to quit drinking for a long time; how to have hope that things will change)

SP219 - Dating (when is dating a good idea, what should you give up to date someone?)

SP218 - Bored (an audio for when the long afternoon and evening of sobriety are staring back at you)

SP217 - Social Worker (the one where I interview a social worker, don't agree with what she's saying, and awkwardness ensues)

SP216 - Behind the Scenes with the BBC (I am interviewed by BBC freelance journalist about the 'image problem' that sobriety has)

SP215 - Incongruent (about the incongruent idea of drinking - how having alcohol in your life doesn't match up with what you say, and who you say you are)

SP214 - Q&A (husband who wants to be supportive, more on compliance, how to look forward and avoid regret)

SP213 - Compliance (there are tools available for us, we just don’t like them, and we don’t want to use them)

SP212 - Snake and Starfish (when you tell only part of the story ... you talk about your husband, but not about drinking. You talk about menopause but not the 2 bottles of wine)

SP211 - The Sprinkler (how to avoid dealing with someone (or some situation) that is making you feel nutty)

SP210 - Nobody wants to hear what I have to say (when you find it hard to speak up, and ask for help, because you're worried about bothering someone)

SP209 - The Value of the Placebo Effect (why does the placebo effect work? there are 3-4 discrete, concrete reasons why. First, it's participatory ...)

SP208 - Update with Lex (we originally spoke in SP013; she was having a hard time getting going, mom to 3 little kids, husband who also drank. fast forward from november 2013 to june 2017)

SP207 - Misfit (you're a misfit and who gives a shit; you don't step in dog shit – you take care of you)

SP206 - Q&A (husbands, motivation, how to get a day 1; how to explain to your spouse or family what you're doing, and the idea of trying different to get a different result)

SP205 - Fix Your 5 Percent (in all disagreements, in all of the criticism – there is 5% that's you. You can fix that. and when you fix that, EVERYTHING changes)

SP204 - Drink At Work (this is about drinking to fit in. Like, if your workplace has a very boozy culture, how do you handle that?)

SP203 - Why Be Sober? (The boozing you is a liar; if you drink, it creates a whole, different version of you, and it’s not the real you)

SP202 - Blog Reading "A Very Shitty Day" (I read from my blog, month #2, when things seemed about as bad as they could get; with commentary)

SP201 - How to Cool off in Warm Weather (being sober is like being overheated, you can use the same problem-solving tools to help you avoid overwhelm and have supports & tools before you need them).

SP200 - Don't Jiggle Your Sober Foundation (advice on how to avoid bringing a jackhammer into the foundation of your sobriety & the people you invite into your life)

SP199 - Drink Again? Regret (how to reply when wolfie says that you "didn't have a problem" and that "drinking now would probably be fine...")

SP198 - 3-Meatball Mother (how to deal with people who don't 'get' us, people who are actively dismissive, who are difficult, or who generally give us shit about our ideas)

SP197 - Keep Your Sober Car on the Road (can you see when your sober car is starting to drift?)

SP196 - Do you have to wait for a low bottom? (or, "I want to be on the Rich Roll Podcast")

SP195 - BBC Interview "Is Drinking Required"? (by far the most stressful interview I've ever done, with an argumentative host, how I defend being sober)

SP194 - I'll Have to Apologize (sometimes i think that people are doing things 'to me' and they aren't. it's not about me. argh.)

SP193 - Mother's Day (mothers aren't perfect humans, and we like to carry around resentments for a LONG time)

SP192 - BBC Radio 5 Live with Emma Barnett (recorded live, May 3, 2017 and includes 2 of my sober penpals on the line with me too)

SP190 + SP191 - What Your Therapist Can't Tell You - Parts 1 + 2 (can your therapist share if they too have a booze issue; why is it that more psychiatrists don't tell you that they've struggled too)

SP189 - Progress Not Perfection (what does this phrase really mean? like, before the 'sober' world started to use it to justify relapse, what did it mean BEFORE?)

SP188 - My Therapist is an Asshat (Response) (maybe your therapist is a nice person but doesn't understand the drinking thing)

SP187 - Take Care of You (what does it mean to 'take care of yourself')

SP186 - Keep it Exciting (sometimes sobriety feels boring, here's what you can do to help)

SP185 - "I'll Take the Stairs" (you may have a brain that mistaken tells you that it'll be easier to quit drinking 'later')

SP184 - Empathy for Addiction (what do you say to friends who want to quit drinking but don't listen to your advice; what is it like for your friends and family to deal with you)

SP183 - Magic Potion (Part 2) (trying to find magic potions that will fix us once and for all)

SP182 - Magic Potion (Part 1) (there is no magic potion; you can spend $100 on vitamins if you like)

SP181 - Fake Cocaine (why does fake beer exist if there's no fake cocaine)

SP180 - Amnesty (don't let embarrassment stop you from reaching out for help)

SP179 - Having a Crappy Time (does life suck, or does pouring booze on our heads make life seem sucky?)

SP178 - Should I Drink Again? (reading from month #1 of my blog when i can't decide whether to keep being sober or not)

SP177 - Back to the Future (some day later you'll wish you were here in early sobriety again...)

SP176 - I'm Not Going Back There (getting help for a sore back is like sobriety)

SP175 - Do I Tell People I've Quit? (how to explain to people that you've quit drinking) Sample

SP174 - Top 3 Factors That Contribute to Long-Term Sobriety (don't drift, do things, deal with shitty days)

SP173 - Celebrations (is it possible to celebrate without alcohol)

SP172 - The Melbourne Radio Interview (me, recorded live, being interviewed December 7, 2016)

SP171 - Interview Practise 3 (would i still be sober if i hadn't started the blog, one quality that makes you more likely to be sober, what piece of advice do i give most often)

SP170 - Interview Practise 2 (30 mins long; what are my plans for the future; why am a sober penpal at all, and what is self-help-live?)

SP169 - Interview Practise 1 (how to maintain boundaries, why do we over-drink (is it family history?)

SP168 - Excuses (we have a brain that asks for alcohol; the rest of the 'reasons' are wolfie)

SP167 - My Chat with GW (long interview with penpal, about his sober journey after 3 DUIs and being sent to court)

SP166 - Blankets of Support Part 2 (second part of longer interview about adding layers of support)

SP165 - Blankets of Support Part 1 (part 1; If you relapse (fall out of bed) and get back in with the same 3 blankets and you don’t add more, then you’re still going to be cold)

SP164 - My Interview with Apprentice SoberP (30 minutes)

SP163 - Good Boundaries (we care so much that other people like us, that we don't care if we like ourselves ...)

SP162 - Q&A Part 4 (how to have a last day 1)

SP161 - Q&A Part 3 (when someone wants to talk about moderation / what to look forward to after one year sober / how to respond to family pressure)

SP160 - Q&A Part 2 (couples quitting together & ideas on medication)

SP159 - Q&A Part 1 (what to expect after 50 days / how to use the sober tools you have and not just 'collect' them)

SP158 - Plan B (how do you rock the shit out of Plan B?)

SP157 - Dating (how do you know when it's time to date?)

SP156 - Q&A (weight loss, weight watchers, running a marathon in snow boots, and I read from the list of 60 sober tools)

SP155 - Prelapse (edition #2; this is my second full podcast about prelapse, the previous one was episode SP046)

SP154 - Nail Polish (when we feel uncomfortable, we're more likely to bail)

SP153 - Dismantling Wolfie (someone offers advice and that makes wolfie act up)

SP152 - Marketing (makes booze seem 'better' than it is)

SP151 - I talk with The Contrarian (one of my penpals interviews ME for his podcast)

300+ free one-minute messages, one big bundle, hours of listening pleasure (and tears, and ass-kicking)

SP150 - Interview with Kristi Coulter (sober penpal / blogger / author)

SP149 - Self-Soothing (ways we learned to 'create a mood' when we were younger)

SP148 - Don't Drink (short, powerful, there is crying)

SP147 - Weight Loss Part 2 (what happens when we put weight loss ahead of sobriety?)

SP146 - Weight Loss Part 1 (what happens when we put weight loss ahead of sobriety?)

SP145 - Fake Drinking (should you fake-drink for a toast at a wedding)

SP144 - Interview with Primrose (sober penpal / sober blogger)

SP143 - Continuum (we share certain compulsive behaviours)

SP142 - Learn it Now (what does relapse mean, what can you learn 'right now' that you can use going forward)

SP141 - Can I Drink Again Later? (what to tell yourself when your brain acts up with ideas of future drinking)

SP140 - Longing (audio about longing, and alcohol, and how our brains trick us with fantasy stories)

SP139 - I can't do it like that (because I'm a sober girl and I have to do things in a way that doesn't disrupt my sobriety)

SP138 - May The Fork Be With You (Resentment) (turns out that sometimes we choose to feel resentment)

SP137 - This is for Julie (all those things that you think are keeping you from being sober? They're all beside the point ...)

SP136 - Mrs. D. (my interview with NZ sober blogger, Mrs. D.)

SP135 - Orchids & Dandelions (are you a sensitive little flower? yeah, me too. this is part 2 of a longer audio)

SP134 - Orchids & Dandelions (are you a sensitive little flower? yeah, me too. this is part 1 of a longer audio)

SP133 - Drinking is Not Required (how can you tell if the voice in your head is wolfie, or you?

SP132 - That would never happen to me (Part 2; booze is an elevator that only goes down)

SP131 - That would never happen to me (Part 1; booze is an elevator that only goes down)

SP130 - Ask the Right Person (who do you ask for sober support)

SP129 - Feminist Rant? (are women in sobriety any different from men)

SP128 - Sobriety and the Meaning of Life (not sure why you're sober any more)

SP127 - Shame / Should (double episode) (why can't i do things like i think i should be able to)

SP126 - Novelty and Structure Part 2 (we need novelty when we're 'bored' and sober; here's how to get it)

SP125 - Novelty and Structure Part 1 (we need novelty when we're 'bored' and sober; here's how to get it)

SP124 - Go Back (go back to the last place you were successful)

SP123 - I Need a Carrot Part 2 (we hear 'i need a drink' in our heads, but we never hear 'i need a carrot')

SP122 - I Need a Carrot Part 1 (we hear 'i need a drink' in our heads, but we never hear 'i need a carrot')

SP120 + SP121 - Adult Learners Parts 1+2 (why is it so hard for adults to learn new skills [hint, it's because they hate feeling like they're making mistakes; they hate not knowing what they're doing])

SP119 - Ranty Belle Part 2 (we need a new 'off' button once booze is removed, and then i start to rant)  Sample 

SP118 - Ranty Belle Part 1 (we need a new 'off' button once booze is removed, and then i start to rant)  Sample 

SP117 - Motivation (apply motivation daily, like deodorant)  Sample

SP116 - Should I Quit or Cut Down? (should you abstain completely or continue to try to cut down)

SP115 - Day 11 (what is it like to be on day 11 sober)

SP114 - Self-Esteem (what is self-esteem and how do you get it)

SP110-113 - Support and How to Get It Parts 1-4 (1 hour and 15 minutes long)

SP109 - Continuous Days Sober (what do we learn when we're continuously sobriety)

SP108 - Keeping Your Car on the Road (anticipatory anxiety; and how learning to drive is like early sobriety)

SP107 - Emotional Honesty (sober people talk about REAL stuff, and how important that is)

SP106 - Treats & Rewards (what's the difference between a treat and a reward, and does it even matter)

SP105 - All New Friends (when sober, do we have to get all new friends, or can we keep some of our boozer friends)

SP104 - Large Life (how to take a bird's-eye-view of problems, dealing with bratty teenagers/neighbours)

SP103 - Boundaries (i'm doing this to take care of ME, you say. i'm learning how to say no)

SP102 - Unsupportive (what to do if married to someone who drinks, or surrounded by people who are 'unsupportive')

SP101 - Drifting (when wolfie says: i don't need to do that sober stuff any more)

SP100 - Oh Look You've Evolved (when it seems like nothing is changing in sobriety)

SP096 to 099 - Ellie Revisited - Parts 1 to 4 (just after her one year sober-versary)

SP095 - Friends (what to say to your friends, what if you're too wobbly to go out)

SP094 - Hockey (yes, it's possible to watch sports and not drink)

SP093 - Death By Escalator (our brain predicts the worst)

SP092 - Missing Out (will you always feel like you're missing out?)

SP091 - Got Shame (beating yourself up over past events)

SP090 - There is No Magical Time (you can stop waiting for the right time)

SP089 - Feel Proud of You (when you feel not enough change in sobriety, not enough improvement)

SP088 - Angry Worms (why does alcohol so darkly affect our moods)

SP087 - High Firm Bottom (if life gives you the opportunity, it’s nice to have a high bottom)

SP086 - Alcohol in the House (how to cope when alcohol is in the house)

SP085 - Life Challenges (15 minutes long; how to be sober when life is gigantically, impossibly hard; there is crying)

SP084 - The High Jump and the Wheelchair (18 minutes long; how we have beliefs about what we can and can't do)

SP083 - Embrace the Lifestyle (our brain suggests that Moderation is a new idea we haven't tried before)

SP082 - Tired of Thinking About Drinking (am I tired of thinking about drinking or about NOT drinking)

13 free audios, behind the scenes stories of how the site started, how the penpals work (and how i keep track), why the bracelets... i answer a lot of the 'why' questions you might have. free.

SP081 - Control (17 minutes long; relationship between drinking and control issues and anxiety; what are the things you can control, and the things that you can't)

SP080 - Blowing a Fuse (overwhelm leads to a 6:45 pm bedtime; double episode, 20 minutes long).  Sample

SP079 - Not Quite Enough (about having 'not quite enough' sober supports; double episode, 20 minutes long)

SP078 - Character Defect (arrogance, over-confidence, and how card tricks work; double episode, 20 minutes long)

SP077 - The Camp of Sobriety (summary of London meetup 2014)

SP076 - Not the Right Time (what happens when we wait for the perfect time to begin)

SP075 - Sober Military (what's it like to be in the military and sober)

SPT14 - Special audio from American Thanksgiving 2014 (1 hour long)

SP071 to 074 - Ellie - Parts 1 to 4 (interview with Ellie Schoenberger, founder of The Bubble Hour)

SP070 - Prickly (irritated when someone offers to help and feeling grumpy in general)

SP069 - Coming Out of the Closet (while drinking, we live in a very small space; picture a closet)

SP068 - What's it Like to be a Sober Street Nurse?

SP067 - Bash Wolfie on the Head - Part 4 (sometimes sobriety feels 'too easy')

SP066 - Bash Wolfie on the Head - Part 3 (finding support outside of AA and outside of relying on your friends)

SP065 - Anonymous Noise (my moving-induced insight on taking things personally)

SP064 - Bash Wolfie on the Head - Part 2 (support)

SP063 - Bash Wolfie on the Head - Live Call Part 1 (what it's like to sit in my chair and see what I see)

SP062 - That you don't deserve it? Not true.

SP061 - What Does Drinking Represent? (you think drinking is time travel and will take you to another place)

SP060 - Beach Postcard (a postcard from the future)

SP059 - Sober Time (we think sobriety is HARDER for us than for others)

SP058 - What's it like to be a Sober Musician?

SPC13 - Special (1 hour) audio from Christmas 2013

SP057 - What's it like to be a Sober Doctor?

SP056 - No More U-Turns (relapse is a u-turn, we go back to where we were)

SP055 - Mind Tricks (how lying to myself works)

SP054 - Can You Buy Hope? (response to a concern I received by email)

SP053 - Don't Get Distracted (thinking that we've made a bunch of bad decisions)

SP052 - What I Deserve (what would Belle say?)

SP051 - July 4th - an audio to combat wolfie (listen to this when wolfie is on your shoulder)

SPT13 - Special audio from American Thanksgiving 2013 (1 hour)

SP047 to 050 - Sober Passions Parts 1-4 (sobriety insurance, and getting rid of ‘either/or’ | analysis/paralysis, patience, your primary goal | what next)

SP046 - Prelapse (what happens in the days before relapse, what can you do in advance)

SP045 - Here’s What I Need From You (an explanation of drinking and sobriety to anyone who doesn’t get it)

SP044 - What's it like to be a Sober Lawyer?

SP043 - What's it like to be a Sober Pastor?

SP042 - What's it like to be a Sober Therapist?

SP041 - I'm Right and You're Wrong (how wolfie whips us into a frenzy, on purpose)

SP040 - Cinnamon Toast (how to give yourself the treats you need)

SP039 - Signs From the Universe (signs that it's a good idea to be sober)

SP038 - Overwhelm (things I do to avoid feeling overwhelmed)

SP037 - Sea Shells (we're all more alike than we are different)

SP036 - Judging (wolfie suggests moderation, as if it's a new idea we've never tried)

10-part free audio series, mini-meditations about how to reframe regret. i'm not a meditation expert. you've been warned!

SP035 - Everything Else is Wolfie (any voice you hear that isn't saying "take care of you" ... it's wolfie)

SP034 - Clever Title (when we were drinking, we couldn't count on ourselves - so we lived 'small')

SP033 - Mashed Potatoes (Oprah picks mashed potatoes, you and I pick booze)

SP032 - Getting Shit Done (why do we leave things undone)

SP031 - Post-Goal Letdown (how to deal with sober goals, like achieving day 100)

SP030 - Even Though (compulsive behaviours – doing stuff that doesn’t serve you)

SP029 - Swallowing Cement (how our very strong beliefs aren't as strong as we think)

SP028 - Practise Feeling Better (can you choose how you feel?)

SP027 - Perfectionism (waiting for the perfect time, that never comes)

SP026 - Reframing Part 3 - Regret / But my husband drinks

SP025 - Reframing Part 2 - Sober Vacations? / But I'm Shy

SP024 - Reframing Part 1 - Life is Hard / Booze is My Crutch

SP023 - Choose Focus (what you focus on changes who you are)

SP022 - I Heart Chicks (what I learned about sobriety when in the cardiac ICU)

SP021 - Don't Worry Be Happy (trusting advice)

SP020 - Fun (can you have fun sober?)

SP019 - Little Chick in the Grass (chick is lost on the new road to sobriety)

SP018 - Chicken Little (there's a little chick inside you)

SP017 - Sleep & Changing the Channel (how to change your mood)

SP016 - Anxiety & Depression (sometimes we feel crappy when sober)

SP015 - How to Have a Sober Christmas

SP014 - Lighthouse (how to find guidance)

SP013 - Lex (23 minute interview)

SP012 - 5 a.m. Wakeup Call (do you know what you're passionate about?)

SP011 - Lullabye (how to deal with a non-exciting patch - a lull - in sobriety)

SP010 - Dehydrate the Wolf (reading from the blog with anecdotes)

SP009 - London Sober Meetup (we're all normal!)

SP008 - What I Know About Me (things up with which i will not put)

SP007 - Today is the Best Day

SP006 - Sobriety is Like a Little Car (reading from the blog, with anecdotes)

SP005 - A Shitstorm of Treats (are you getting enough sober treats?)

SP004 - All is Well (even when it's not)

SP003 - Dry Drunk (my rant about what I think of this term)

SP002 - Two Eiffel Towers (the danger in trying to do the same thing again and expecting different results)

SP001 - Accepting Help (accept their milkshakes)