135 prewrite


because of the long stretch of off-site contract work, i became seriously tired of writing the fiction AND as soon as I did it, i’m glad I did. haven’t missed a day yet. I think back to the (false) dream that i had, the one with the neat and tidy bow, where i finished the first draft in 100 days and could celebrate on christmas day. yeah, right. first, i hadn’t calculated how long a fiction book is supposed to be. i didn’t take a word count and divide it by 100 days. i didn’t have any backup plan for writing through this work thing. which i have managed to do, though not always with glee and joy.

until i read it over.

and then i CAN’T TELL the days that i hated it versus the days that came easily, as it all reads the same. which means that even when i hate it, it’s still working. and even when i’m not feeling it, the output is fine. and even when i think it’s not working, it is.

and how i feel about it has (almost) nothing to do with its success.

Note to self: keep doing the thing that you know is right, that will make you feel proud of yourself, because how you feel about it is NOT a good barometer of how it’s working, because feelings change wildly from day to day. depending on so many things, but for me it’s mostly sleep.