yesterday i moved my laptop from my desk to the dining room table, which seemed to open up some ‘mental’ space. also the dining room table is cleaner than my desk, so i don’t feel so hemmed in.
also, last night, husband was out (as he often is), but instead of hiding in my office corner facing the wall, i was out here, at the table, and the apartment was dark around me, and it was just me, and i put on the fairy lights around the mirror, and i started to write.
no kidding. i found the portal/tunnel back into the story in the evening, 8-9:30 pm ish.
thus far, i’ve been writing mornings. first thing. get it done. but also writing to a deadline every day.
last night, just went into the tunnel and stayed there until it spit me out.
this is only significant because i USED to write at night, when i was single, when i was in grad school, and i used to get into the tunnel by drinking one beer on an empty stomach and sitting in the dark and waiting.
and last night, that wormhole opened up again. sans alcohol. sans husband. lights off (husband always has the lights on, i turn them off as soon as he leaves, he watches tv with the lights on, which for me ruins the ‘effect’).
and it only took 67 days to find this wormhole. that’s a long time. too easy to get discouraged in that time. too easy to decide that it’s not worth it, that it’s not working, that it’s working but not well, that it’s good but not great, that i could be doing something else (sleeping).
but to write at night means i can skip the 6:15 a.m. alarm. it also means i might start sleeping through the night again (last night, awake twice, once about rayna, once about catering this week, don’t forget the lemon and sugar ‘sand’ on the cake says my head, in bed, at night).
from DG yesterday about my ‘tense’ samples:
My input, while still just an opinion, is: “snarky narrator tense” sounds too much like your blogging. You must know that I love your blogging. Your writing style drew me in from the first day I found your blog. I identified with your experience and vernacular. This idea coalesced for me when I finished reading the last snarky tense sample and moved on to your prewrite. The snarky paragraph transitioned into the prewrite and I felt no distinction in form. By the way, I really enjoy the prewrite. Anyway. Just my 2¢.
and my reply: perhaps snarky narrator (sample #6) is the closest to my real voice, if it sounds like my blogging. perhaps that’s my true voice.
of course, that does NOT mean i should write a novel using my blogging voice. but it might be a place to start for a first draft, and then flip things later.
tired. cautiously optimistic.